Thursday, January 17, 2013

Leaving Treatment - Part 1

After completing treatment in February 2011, I had no home to go to. While at treatment I had received court papers in the mail letting me know that I was not welcome home. Not welcomed home? I have no family here in NC. Where was I supposed to go? The kids' father was moving back to Hickory NC where his family was.

If the kids were going to Hickory, I was going to move to Hickory.

My counselor at treatment did some researching online and found a specialized facility in Hickory where recovering addicts and alcoholics could stay to get back on their feet. They accepted both men and women. She downloaded the application, I filled it out, and we faxed it along to the facility.


However after doing that I had some concerns about that facility. The paperwork said that while I was there, I was not allowed to go anywhere unattended. If I wanted or needed to go somewhere I needed to get approval and then I would have to have an escort with me. I couldn't go anywhere on my own.

That sounded very time-consuming. I could imagine wanting to go to the library for some books and having to fill out some form and then waiting and then asking about it a couple of days later because they didn't get back to me and then filling out another form because they couldn't find the first one and then waiting another day and then asking about the request again. Then the woman in charge of requests would say, "I have read your request and need to talk to so-and-so about it." Then waiting another couple of days and asking her about it again to be told that I could go to the library but they were trying to find someone to go with me. Then waiting another couple of days to be told that there wasn't anyone available now to escort me to the library, maybe next week someone would be free.

That wouldn't work out for me. I am the kind of person who is self-motivated and excels when I am on my own. I need to be in charge of my own recovery and not surrender it to some facility. My counselor and I imagined me walking right out the door and then what?

So, when I didn't get any reply from the faxed intake papers, I wasn't disappointed. I looked into staying at a halfway house but decided to stay at The Salvation Army Emergency Shelter. My counselor found out that they complete intakes from 3:30 pm until 7:30 pm daily.

When my exit day arrived a driver was scheduled to take me to the shelter in Hickory. Hickory is about an hour and a half from the treatment center. I was all packed up and it was 1 pm. Where was my driver? I knew beds at a homeless shelter are first come first served. I was going to get there late and then end up on the street. At 1:30 I went to my counselor and asked where the driver was. She called and said it would be at least another hour. I asked her if she knew about how beds at an emergency shelter were given out. I explained that if I got there later than and someone else got there ahead of me then I wouldn't have a bed. She said she couldn't do anything about that. I would have to leave when the driver was ready.

I could not believe that they would actually just dump me off somewhere to have me fend for myself. I started to prepare to get to Hickory and have no bed. I arranged for some other client/friends of mine in treatment to take some of my belongings so that I wouldn't have to lug around too much baggage on the street with me. I also made a sign that said, "Homeless. Please help. Thank you" out of half a cardboard box I got out of the dumpster at treatment. I didn't want to go hungry.

My counselor caught sight of the sign and her face turned red. She said that she couldn't believe that I did that. Did what? Why was she so mad? I truly didn't understand what was wrong.

No driver and now it was 5 pm, dinner time. I sat and ate with friends and one of them asked me why I didn't just refuse to go. He asked me, "What are they going to do, throw you out and lock the door? Doubtful." I did have private insurance and I figured that they would pay for an extra day.

    To be continued...                                                                                            




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