April 27, 2011 Hickory, North Carolina, a beautiful sunny spring day filled with song birds. This particular day I was feeling exceptionally frustrated and stressed about being homeless, finding housing, and dealing with people for whom I was forced to live with at the homeless shelter. In a very loud (and disrespectful) voice I asked God, "God, what do you want me to learn from all this?!"
Attempting to change my attitude I started mentally listing five
things that I was grateful for that day. I was grateful for having clean
clothes to wear, for a bed to sleep in, for nice sneakers, for three meals a
day, for my food stamps, and for Jesus dying on the cross, forgiving me of my
sins, bridging contact with myself and God. Although finding housing and getting on disability wasn't happening as quickly as I wanted it to and exactly in the
way I wanted it to, God was nonetheless still leading me in the direction he wanted me
to go. He was with me all the time just as he promised.
Walking down the sidewalk, the sun felt warm on my
head. I couldn't tell you where I was going at the moment, but I remember where
I was precisely when God spoke directly to me for the first time in my life. I
was on the corner of 2nd Av. SW and Center Street, right across from
Clark Tire. Approximately two hours after I posed the question to God, and as
plain as if someone was standing next to me up to my ear, he said, "Paula,
I want you to know how much I love you."
I immediately stopped walking. I felt my face flushing as I
pivoted my head to the left and the right, looking for where that calm
reassuring voice came from. All that I
saw were cars traveling up and down the street. No one was there.
I wonder if anyone looked at me as I stood there on the
corner looking around. They would have thought I was nuts. Immediately I felt
humbled and apologized to God for the way I spoke to him and praised him for
being so faithful and good to me. I promised him I would be open to his love
and I focus on the words he said to me.
I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may
have power, together with all the Lord's holy people, to grasp how wide and
long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that
surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness
of God. Ephesians 17-19.
No matter how poorly I thought of myself at times, the love
and grace of God was unstoppable in my life.
My praying continued as a constant daily conversation
with God. I expressed my thankfulness,
and told him that I wanted to give back to him for all that he had done for me.
After his response on that April day, I had faith that he would definitely send
me on the path I should go on.
For the LORD is good and his love endures forever; his
faithfulness continues through all generations. Psalm 100:5
November 11th of 2011 God put it on my heart that he wanted
me to work with other homeless persons of Hickory but he didn't tell me
anything anymore specific than that. I just kept that thought in my head and on
January 9th of 2012, I knew that I was to work in a street ministry, helping
the homeless, like myself, decide which services in the community they might
qualify for and help them sign up for them. It would also give me an opportunity to tell them about the
involvement God has had in my life.
June 21, 2012, after
realizing that I was doing exactly what I felt he wanted me to do, Pathway
Outreach Ministries was born. I was introducing myself to the new men and women
who came to stay at the Salvation Army Shelter of Hope and asking them if they
knew what they were going to do next and if I could help them.
Pathway Outreach Ministries is small and unique. It does not
overlap other services in the community. One on one contact with another person
is powerful. Reaching out to others gives me such gratitude for what I have. I
hope I can help instill hope in others like myself.
Here is a link to the website I have created for Pathway
Outreach Ministries. http://pathwayoutreachministries.webs.com
No comments:
Post a Comment